Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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