If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
