maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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