How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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