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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How was it?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fantastic, but that's not the point.

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• (661): View more from California

  Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.

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• (464): View more from Illinois

  He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  So it may have been laced, sue me.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures

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