The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
