Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
