just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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