It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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