This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
