I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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