anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
