I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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