OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
