remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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