well you can't waste a boner
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
