so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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