I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
