So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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