We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
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#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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