I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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