I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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