had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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