A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
