There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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