I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
