i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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