sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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