U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
