I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So vagazzling was a success
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize