Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
