All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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