he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
