Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
