Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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