i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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