I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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