Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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