I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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