he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
