Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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