If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize