UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
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Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
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They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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