I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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