but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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