saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
