i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
