wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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