I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
