no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
