Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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