Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
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I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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