So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
