used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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