Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
