now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
