i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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