There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
